I was given a Hitachi cordless drill about fifteen years ago. It came with a big torch. When the 1AH NiCd batteries it came with faded too far, I replaced them with newer 3AH batteries. This year they finally began to give up too, and I decided to get a New Torch.
Category: Humour
-
Life lesson – woodworking
Our woodworking teacher in first year high school told us in our first lesson to treat the bandsaw with great respect.
He started it up. The blade blurred up to speed; the whole thing stood taller than a man, and hummed with purpose. It was like it had woken up, come alive…
He whipped a lamb shank out from behind his back and shoved it onto the band in one movement. There was the smallest “zzzt” sound. The bandsaw didn’t even slow down. Its sound didn’t change. He turned it off and it whined into silence. He held up the stump. The other half lay on the sawbed. The silence extended.
He said “that could have been your finger, your wrist or your arm. Do not fuck with this machine.”
-
Fibre? Don’t make me laugh.
Apparently some people at University College London (UCL) have achieved data transmission speeds of greater than a terabit per second to a single receiver:
To which I say – phooey!
It’s on fibre – but copper is the future.
Copper is faster, cheaper, and can be installed more quickly. That’s why all the really top-shelf research is concentrating on getting super high speeds over copper. Apparently people are already pushing tens of gigabits over inch-long snippets; it’s just a simple matter of scaling that up. And Australia’s world-class broadband network will be ready and waiting when they do!
UCL? Fibre? What a pack of amateurs. Sheesh.
-
Trust me, I’m a verbologist.
“To verb” is to make a verb out of something else, typically a noun. Lots of common words are (or appear to be) verbed nouns (even though many are nouned verbs!), so the verb “to verb” tends to be used only with obvious neoplasms.
“To verbify” is simply to use many verbs (cf. “speechify”).
“Verbification” is the noun form of “verbify”, as in “his verbification was delightful”.
“Verbifying” is an alternative to “verbification”, as in “his verbifying delighted the audience”.
A verb constructed by verbing a nouned verb is of course a “reverb”. Repeating the process (which is orthographically invisible except to the trained professional) is known as reverberation.
Trust me, I’m a verbologist.
-
Apostrophe’s
There once was a sad old apostrophe
Whose functions had started to atrophe.
It lay in it’s bed
Weakly shaking it’s head
And murmuring “its a catastrophe!”Karl Auer, October 2006
-
IPv6 as the Ark
I just found this in my archives as part of a discussion about IPv6 uptake:
The point is that the storm clouds have well and truly gathered, thunder is rolling in the hills, great big rain drops are splotting into the dust all around us, and what are we doing? Wandering around the outside of the Ark tut-tutting about the quality of the woodwork and loudly suggesting the construction of various sorts of rowboats.
Karl Auer, 2008